Many children with autism love to line up toys in perfect rows or spin wheels for hours, but they might not know how to play pretend games or join other kids on the playground. This can break parents’ hearts, especially when they see their child playing alone while other kids laugh and play together.
But here’s some encouraging news: studies show that 78% of children with autism spectrum disorder develop stronger social connections and communication skills when they learn some play techniques such as DIR Floortime play. In DIR Floortime play, the child’s lead is what drives the play theme. It helps them build their social development tremendously.
Play skills aren’t just about having fun – they’re the building blocks for making friends, learning to communicate and understanding the world around them. With the right support and sometimes help from occupational therapy for children, kids with autism can discover the joy of play and all the learning that comes with it.
Why Play Feels Different for Kids with Autism
Children with autism often see and experience the world differently than other kids. What looks like “not playing” is actually their brain trying to make sense of things. When a child lines up cars by colour, they’re creating order that feels good to them. When they spin the same toy over and over, they’re getting sensory input that helps them feel calm.
The challenge comes when play stays at this level. Repetitive play feels safe and predictable, but it doesn’t teach kids how to be flexible, share ideas, or connect with others. Their brains crave that sameness, but they also need to learn new ways to play, to grow and develop.
This doesn’t mean their current play is wrong. It means they need gentle guidance to expand their play world while still honouring what feels good to them.
Technique 1: Start Where the Child Already Plays
Meet kids where they are, not where adults think they should be. If a child loves lining up blocks, join them. Sit down and start lining up blocks too. This shows respect for their play and creates a connection.
Once comfortable playing alongside them, try adding small changes. Maybe line up blocks by size instead of colour. Or create two lines of blocks that meet in the middle. The goal is expanding their play, not replacing it.
This approach works because it feels safe to the child. They’re still doing something they love, but now they have a play partner who gets it. Occupational therapy kids often learn best when new skills build on things they already enjoy.
Technique 2: Use Visual Supports to Teach New Play Ideas
Kids with autism are often visual learners who understand pictures better than words. Create simple picture cards showing different ways to play with the same toy. For blocks, show pictures of towers, bridges, houses, and roads.
Make a ‘play menu’ with photos of different activities. Let the child choose what they want to try next. This gives them control while introducing new options. Some days they might pick the same thing, and that’s okay. Other days, they might surprise everyone by trying something new.
Video modeling works great too. Take short videos of other kids or adults playing in different ways. Watch these together and then try the activities. Seeing exactly what to do makes new play ideas less scary and more doable.
Technique 3: Break Play Skills into Tiny Steps
Complex play can feel overwhelming to kids with autism. Playing house involves so many unspoken rules like who does what, how to pretend, when to take turns. Break these big ideas into small, manageable pieces.
Start with simple cause and effect play. Push a ball and it rolls. Press a button and something happens. This teaches the basic idea that actions have results, which is the foundation for all play.
Move to basic pretend play in tiny steps. First, pretend to drink from an empty cup. Then pretend to give a doll a drink. Each small step builds toward more complex pretend scenarios. Celebrate every small success as these stepping stones lead to bigger play skills.
Technique 4: Use Social Stories and Role Playing
Social stories help kids with autism understand the unwritten rules of play. Write simple stories about playground games, sharing toys, or asking someone to play. Use pictures and clear language to explain what happens and what’s expected.
Create stories about specific situations the child finds difficult. “When I want to play with someone, I can walk over and say hello. If they say hello back, I can ask if I want to play. If they say no, that’s okay and I can find something else to do.”
Practice these scenarios when the child is calm and relaxed. Role-play different situations so they have a script to fall back on when real social situations arise. Occupational therapy for children often includes this type of social skill practice because it works so well.
Making Play More Social
One of the biggest goals is helping kids with autism connect with other children through play. Start with parallel play like playing near other kids doing similar things. This feels less overwhelming than trying to play together right away.
Arrange short playdates with understanding friends or family members. Keep them brief and structured. Maybe 30 minutes of specific activities rather than open-ended play time. Having a plan helps everyone feel more comfortable.
Teach simple social play skills like greeting others, asking to join in, and saying goodbye. These basic skills open doors to more complex social interactions later on.
Building Play Skills Takes Patience
Learning to play is a journey, not a destination. Some days will be great, with the child trying new things and seeming more social. Other days, they might want to go back to their favourite repetitive play, and that’s perfectly normal.
Progress isn’t always linear. Kids might learn a new play skill, then seem to forget it for a while. This is how their brains work, they need time to process and practice new information. Keep offering opportunities without pressure.
Remember that play skills develop differently for every child. Some kids will love physical play like swinging and climbing. Others will prefer quiet activities like puzzles and books. Honour each child’s preferences while gently expanding their play world.
The Bigger Picture
Play is how children learn about themselves and their world. For kids with autism, developing these skills opens doors to friendships, communication, and confidence. When children learn to play in new ways, they’re also learning to be flexible, creative, and social.
Professional support can make a huge difference in this journey. Occupational therapy kids specialists understand exactly how autism affects play development and can provide targeted strategies that work for each child’s unique needs and interests.
Moving Forward with Hope
Children with autism spectrum disorder may approach play differently, but by starting with their current interests, using visual supports, breaking skills into small steps, creating structured opportunities, and teaching social understanding through stories and practice, parents can help their children discover new ways to play and connect with others. Play skills aren’t just about fun, they’re the foundation for communication, friendship, and confidence that will serve these children throughout their lives.
Ready to help your child discover the joy of play? Cloud Nine Therapy in Bella Vista, NSW, offers specialized occupational therapy services for children with autism spectrum disorder. Our experienced team understands how to build play skills in ways that honor your child’s unique strengths while opening new doors for connection and growth.